It’s been a  while since I’ve had a conversation with God about anything. It seems I only speak to God when I need something or want something. Never to just shoot the breeze. “Hey God-what’s up? How bout them Sinners?” In church on Sunday I prayed for a safe, easy Hurricane Season. God can’t actually control all the man-made bad things in the world (the economy, the Saints losing streak, foreclosures, unemployment, etc) But God does have a hand in natural disasters. God needs to have a conference with Mother Nature and figure out why she is so pissed. And to persuade her to have mercy on the Gulf Region this Hurricane Season. We can not take another bad one. Most of us can’t even afford to evacuate never mind rebuild again. So God, I say this with love, please help us this Hurricane Season. Please know we will all try harder to Go Green and we will all try harder to make Mother Nature happier with us. And I for one promise to talk to you more about things YOU may want or need. Maybe some new sandals for Father’s Day?

(photo used under creative commons license)

Just say NO. Why is this difficult? When some asks you some kinda bullsheeet question just say NO. When someone telemarkets you just say NO. When the store clerk asks you if you wanna save 10 percent off today by opening a credit card-NO. (maybe a hell no here) When your friends are getting together to watch the lamest movie ever just say NO. When someone asks to borrow money/your car/your child/pet/clothes or to do a shot- NO. NO NO NO. One simple little word. That’s all you need to say. There is no need to give a halfway answer like- I dunno, maybe, we’ll see, blah blah blah. With this big long stupid explanation. NO is the best way to go. You can always change your mind later! And NO, I don’t want you to comment back on this.

(photo used under creative commons license)

THANK YOU.

Post-Idol blog-DA! Ok, Kris the ‘dark horse’ won! SUCK IT ADAM FANS! Here’s the thing, I too got sucked into the Adam machine in the beginning. And I admit I enjoyed his Led Zep rendition. Dare I say it was almost awesome. After that episode though, I felt he jumped the shark and was not real or sincere. Meaning, he was too showy and theatrical. Not pure and hopeful. Who is Adam Lambert? Where as with Kris he was real from day one. Don’t shed a tear for Adam. He’ll be great on broadway or fronting a Queen Tribute Band. Maybe even the real Queen! He can for sure fill Freddy Mercury’s high-heeled shoes. (just not the high-notes Freddy could hit but who the hell could?) Although Kris won, the next 12 months for him will kinda have some lameness as he will have to sing that tremedously aweful song ‘No Boundries’ at least 1 million times. That’s gonna suck for all of us. All and all this year Idol went out with a bang. Shouldn’t shows thinking about ending forever end on a high note?

See the proof here! American Idol finalist Adam Lambert and famous cabaret singer Liza Minelli. Adam will probably win Idol due to the Drag Queen votes.

Yesterday I was driving on the I-10 doing about 70 in the middle lane. Maybe 75. A cop car raced by me doing at least 95 and it didn’t have it’s flashing lights on. Is this ok?? It then went into the left lane and was on the ass of the car in front of it. No flashing lights on. The car infront of it couldn’t get over in the middle lane as there was traffic. The cop car continued to ride too close behind. The car infornt of it probably didn’t want to speed up anymore thinking they might get pulled over for speeding. What were they suppose to do?? The cop car then kept weaving and jivin’ thru traffic still doing at least 90 no flashing lights on. Did he have to pee and was trying to pull over somewhere???

We covered the Top 6 BEST Streets to drive down. Let’s do the Top 6 WORST-

6. St Charles Avenue-sorry, but unless you are sight seeing what is the point of driving on this Street?

5. Broadway-you can’t get there form here and it leads to no where except college bars and the prison

4. TIE-Fluer Di Lis-in Metry. I think this street even improved AFTER Katrina with the storm leveling it out but all and all it is still a death trap. Tied with-Highway 11 Bridge/Irish Bayou-widen this already! Street lights would be helpful as well!

3. Mac Arthur Blvd -Westbank/Algiers-it runs threw both relax! And it too is one big natural speed bump. It’s like an amusement park ride.

2. Canal Street (not Blvd) An embarrassing Street in our lovely city! Cheesey, smelly, double parked dooshbags, no where to take a proper U-turn, jay-walkin thugs everywhere, why are there so many camera shops? In a nutshell it just looks shady.

1. I-10 from here to Houston and beyond, both directions, every exit.

Drive safe this Summer!

(photo used under creative commans license)

Ok Workforce, it’s time we all GO GREEN! Yup, we’ve been dragging our heels on this whole thang for quite some time. We will be giving easy helpful hints in the weeks to come about how you can Go Green easily and painlessly. There are sooooo many things we could all do everyday to help the effort. Start with just one thing. When you brush your teeth (or tooth) shut the water OFF while brushing. This small little thing over time will help us all Go Green! And imagine if EVERYONE in the world did this we’d have enough water forever! So, start small with just one little thing, everyday. Do it for the Earth. Do for the next generation. Do it cuz finally saying GO GREEN isn’t just a pot referance! (although…feel free to go green that way too) More Bayou 1 Things to come!

Movie night over the weekend and I finally saw the movie ‘The Wrestler’ starring the great Mickey Rourke. (it’s on ppv) He shoulda won the academy award!!! I saw Sean Penn’s movie ‘Milk’ at the theatre (with my gay bf) And although his performance was awesome, Mickey shoulda won instead! I also saw ALL of the movies the actors nominated for best actor were in. I didn’t see The Wrestler though until over the weekend. And Mickey was the GREATEST! Watch ‘The Wrestler’. The only issue I had was the ending. Since I will not be giving anything away incase you haven’t seen it by explaining the ending as it was one of those endings that doesn’t tell you what happens. You have to guess on your own. Almost exactly like the last episode of the Sopranos. Screen goes black. Boom, movie done. I was waiting for Journey’s Don’t Stop Believing to play while credits were rolling. I believe Mickey’s charector-THE RAM, lived and he and his stripper girlfriend were happily ever after in the trailer park. My boyfriend thinks he died. Mickey will now be starring in ‘Iron Man 2′ as one of the bad guys and he will be in a Stallone movie too. Mickey Rourke is my new favorite old actor. I write this blog as Mickey and the crew from that new Stallone movie are here in Nola for the next couple of weeks filming. I will be on high Mickey alert and hoefully have some Mickey encounters and sightings I can report. I hope Mickey reads this blog. If you run into him let him know.

(photo used under creative commons license)

Happy Mother’s Day to all Bayou Workforce Moms, Maw-Maws, Step-Moms, Single Dads, Baby Mamas, woman pet owners, Mother-In-Laws, and woman who are like a mother to someone special. Mother’s Day is the 3rd biggest Hallmark holiday. Remember yer mom this weekend! She squeezed you thru her loins and put up with all your shite for all these years. The least you can do is give her a hug and tell her how awesome she is. Suck it up and watch Lifetime with her. Clean her car and get her tires rotated. Maybe do the dishes. Plant a tree for her.

Here is what Moms teach us-

Anticipation-”Wait until your Father gets home”

Meeting a Challenge- “What the hell were you thinking?”

Thinking Ahead-”If you don’t pass that test you’ll never get a job”

Adulthood-”Eat your vegetables or you will never grow”

Genetics- “You’re just like your Father”

Your Roots-”Do you think we live in a barn?”

Justice- “One day you’ll have kids and I hope they turn out just like you…then you’ll see what it’s like!” (my favorite)

Happy Mother’s Day!

(picture above of Kat’s parents used under creative commons license)

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Rock night on American Idol did just that-ROCKED! I hate to say it but it was a whole lotta Lambert! That Adam Lambert front runner made the mighty Led Zep proud with his rendition of Whole Lotta Love. He really did. Rock night on Idol always sucks and the constants try hard but never quite get it right. Last night all the kids done good! Who knew???!! And Slash was there to mentor the hopefuls. He made those kids channel thier inner rock star. I, like many, watch Idol cuz everyone else does. It’s stuck on us. I am bitter and yell at the TV when the kids mess up or wear something ugly and just plain ole suck. But last night shed new light on how I feel about Idol. It got me. And got me good! Adam Zeppelin has GOT to win after last night. If he does, my faith in mankind is restored. And the world will rock once again.